Monday, 31 October 2011

#3: Colin Rumbles

The best thing about driving a bus? The excitement. Never knowing who’s going to get on where, what routes you’re going to get assigned, what shifts you’ll get. Plus the sitting. In my condition, being able to work sitting down all day is important. I’m also a big fan of my protective Perspex window. Makes you feel nice and safe that does. Enclosed. You’d be amazed how many people want to spit on a bus driver.

But, ok... I’ll let you into a secret. It’s not really any of that. Are you ready? It’s keeping the stuff people leave behind. That really can be anything. Toys, shoes, hardly touched sandwiches... Mum says that’s what’s up with my skin, wearing other people’s clothes that I find. She reckons I should burn them, or at least wash them. But that would spoil it I think, washing them. That would make them too much like really mine. It far more fun just wearing a coat or a jumper and smelling the person it used to belong to. That’s what’s exciting, the smell of their loss. Knowing I’m wearing something that belongs to someone else. Especially in public! I mean, what if they saw me? Can you imagine? Who knows, maybe one day someone might even come up and say something to me about something I’m wearing! They might recognise it and come up to me and say something like, “Hey! That’s my snood!” and then they’d chase me. Chase me for ages. Into the woods maybe. But they’d never find me because I know places. Places to hide. Yeah, maybe something like that might happen one day. That would be amazing.

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