Monday, 5 December 2011

#13 Dave Honeyjudge

It should have been a runaway success. When people want fast friendly service, they come to “Laughter Lines”, Mothwicke’s only stand up comedy bookmakers. If William Hill’s gives you the chills and Ladbrokes is in your bad books, lay down a line where the patter’s fine and the clientele are all funny as hell! An exciting new innovation. A bookies with a difference. I just don’t understand where it all went wrong. Well, it was because no one liked the combination of comedy and losing all their money. I mean we had some seasoned performers in there but they were getting heckled by sorts who lost every day of their lives. People who bathed in misery and washed their hair in failure. There were tears every night of the week. More than usual.  I suppose I do understand where it all went wrong, thinking about it.

But this is me all over, big ideas that I never think through. It was the same with my Queen themed strip club. Who wants a lap dance from a woman dressed as John Deacon? Of course no one. I can see that now. But at the time? I thought it would make me a millionaire. “We Will Rock You” with tits was how I saw it. I remember the feeling. The feeling that this was it. An idea that couldn't possibly fail. I’ve still got a box full of Roger Taylor chest wigs through the back. You can take one home if you want.

So now I work in the drycleaners. It’s steady, mundane work that doesn’t get me too excited and I think the Tetrachloroethylene acts as a natural damper for my stupid business ideas. I hope it stays that way as well. I just can’t afford another financial and legal disaster like “ Amazing Dave’s Circus of Toddlers”.

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