Saturday, 14 January 2012

#20 Oliver Cherbourg & Zechariah Gwinn

Cherbourg: Of course we do all the latest styles. That is why all the young people come here. Everywhere needs a barber. One thing you cannot buy online or order through one of your fancy new telephones with no buttons.

Gwinn: How do they work, these telephones with the no buttons? Ah. If only my mother were here. If I told her the things that they had these days she would slap me and call me a liar and then she would continue to slap me until I admitted my lies and then she would chain me in my punishment sack until I was duly penitent and promised to be good and not to let the devil tempt me into telling such lies. Such awful lies. Awful lies that suck, suck, suck the good from you. In many ways it is good that my mother is no longer with us.

Cherbourg: A son must escape the apron strings and make his own way. This is something that I and my partner here have found. My friend Gwinn and I have never known the touch of a woman and in that sense remain free to do as men do. To be as men are meant to be. Please do not misunderstand. We have the utmost respect for women. It is for this very reason we have chosen not to sully them with our manly ways. Women are not barred from our establishment. Oh no. That would be illegal. 

Gwinn: Hmm yes. Illegal.

Cherbourg: But neither is their presence desired or encouraged.

Gwinn: We are not lovers to be clear. Oh no. Although many talk. My partner and I have over the years discovered and indeed developed many tinctures capable of assuaging the urges. The urges that keep a man from his primary purpose. Business.

Cherbourg: Ah yes. Business.


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