So yeah, stand-up can be tough. I remember one time I did a show when no-one laughed. I’m not talking about when they don’t listen. That happens all the time. This was different. Everyone listened. You could have heard a pin drop. But no-one laughed. I later found out they were all from Norway. Norway. Funny story right? Wasn’t funny when I was up there. The longest 10 minutes of my life. Afterwards they apologised. Apologised for not laughing. They were so pleasant and polite. I don’t know why that made me so angry but it did. Still, it was no excuse for what I did to their mini-bus.
After that I had to go to hospital for a while because I couldn’t stop thinking about how someone or something was stealing all my time. Where does it go? Have you ever thought about that? I couldn’t stop. When they found me in the park, I’d been running in nothing but a bed sheet for three days. I was lucky they managed to save my feet. Anyway, long story short, I work up at Gigglemouse Castle now. I do matinee shows for the kids. I thought it would be easier and in some ways it is. Most of them can’t throw very well. But the sound of a room full of kids booing stays with you. Stays with you when you’re doing that thing you used to call sleep. I wonder what time it is. Do you have the time?