Monday, 7 November 2011

#5: Mike Birtles

Conspiracy theorist? I prefer the word “realist”. But people can call me what they like. Anyone who knows me can tell you I’m a thorough professional. A meticulous person. When you order an ice cream at Giggle Mouse Castle, you get exactly what you ordered. Or at least you do when I’m on my shift. And you get the right change. So when I tell you there something fishy about this “disappearance”, I hope you appreciate this is from a man who daily handles complex orders from the public involving sometimes many different kinds of confectionary.

I’ve known Rachel for many years. I sat behind her in geography. Once, I made a joke during class about how boring the Norwegian leather industry was, and she joined in laughing. School days, they really are the best days of your life aren’t they? Except for me now I think about it. I was horribly bullied. Yeah. Really badly bullied. Dunno why I said that. About them being the best days of your life. Because they absolutely weren’t for me.

Anyway, I’ve been looking into this so-called “disappearance”, checking press cuttings, asking around, that kind of thing. And you know what? All the people I’ve questioned about it either “…don’t know anything” or don’t want to talk to me. What does that tell you eh? Plus I’ve been looking at old town records for information about previous disappearances. The last person to disappear in Mothwicke? 1962, George Pratley. A 78 year-old pensioner. Checking up, I’ve found out he has absolutely no connection to Rachel. None. Not related, families don’t know each other, nothing. Now you’re not going to tell me that isn’t weird. What do I think has happened to her? A professional doesn’t speculate mate. Now what was it you said you wanted? A ninety-nine?

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